Guilt Trip

I love my best friend. Obviously, since we’ve dedicated an entire blog to our friendship. But she’s not always available to hang out like she was when I was still in Florida. When I lived down there, even when we no longer worked together, we could usually get together within a few hours of making plans. A day’s notice was the absolute most we needed, because we lived about 15 minutes away from each other.

Now, living about 4 hours away from each other, it takes planning. Even if it’s just for a day trip to Savannah, the halfway point, we still have to plan it out. Otherwise we end up wandering aimlessly, and that doesn’t work so well when you only have a day. (I would like to point out, though, that I’m perfectly fine with just chilling at the house when we are in the same town!)

So, naturally, you’re going to end up with physically closer friends. And they might turn into your best friends too, because, face it, as girls, we tend to have more than one best friend. I’m definitely one of those girls, haha! I just have one “bestest” friend, though. But, should I feel guilty for this?

I didn’t realize it for awhile because I would hang out with my brother who is my built-in original best friend, so he doesn’t count. But, once I got married, and I started hanging out with my married girlfriends, I’d catch myself sending them the random “best friend” texts throughout the day: “omg, you’re not gonna believe what just happened!”, “hey, our jam is on the radio!”, or just the general “heyyy”. Those are the texts you send to your best friend. The nothing texts. The ones that have absolutely no point to them, but you have the urge to say something to this person because she’s your bestie. Or because you have to tell someone, and she’s the only one who would get it.

I felt guilty.

I felt like I was almost betraying my best friend because I was sending these texts or pictures or jokes to other people instead of her. It didn’t help that Sarah and I are both pretty bad at keeping touch regularly. Life happens, and it’s easy to get swept up into it, and we both get that. But still…

Then I realized, I shouldn’t feel guilty. Sarah has those same people in her life, and it doesn’t bother me. I understand that, because you can hang out with local friends more often and more easily, you’re going to have “things” with them as much as you do with your long distance best friend. They’re the ones you go see movies with, the ones you go late night shopping with, and the ones you jam out with in the car. Because, let’s face it: local friends are here, and long distance friends are not.

I sent my local friend a text the other day talking about how I am not built for crop tops (neither is she, so she feels my pain!). And I smiled. Because she understood it. We had one of those nonsense conversations that we both forgot about five minutes later, and we went on with our afternoons. At the same time, 238.4 miles away, Sarah was probably doing the same thing.

In honor of this, I’m going to shoot her text about absolutely nothing. Maybe it’ll be a picture of the massive load of laundry I need to take care of… And she’ll laugh and send me a picture of her same load of laundry with her dogs in the background. We’ll complain about adult life, then we’ll each go back to folding clothes.

But I’ll smile, because she’s my best friend. And, even from a long distance, she understands it.

And you should know that no matter how many other friends make it into my profile picture, I haven’t replaced you. I could never find anyone else with your specific brand of strange and awesome.

-Charlotte Ahlin, “To the Friend Who Moved Away”,

Deborahs small signature


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